how can u be prego again
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
