East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
Randomize
