All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
