Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
Randomize
