I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
