In the future we'll all be gay
I just cut my nipple shaving
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
I am never drinking with the goths again.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
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