My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
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