I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Randomize
