I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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