brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
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