butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
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