well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
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