your thong is hanging out like whoa
What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
Randomize
