Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
