So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
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