This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
Randomize
