LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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