Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Randomize
