sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
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