i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
My hair reeks of homosexuality.
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
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