I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
Randomize
