i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
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