I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
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