you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
Randomize