Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Randomize
