Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
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Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
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Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
Randomize