After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
Randomize
