What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
