Just took my morning after pill in the library
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
