theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
