Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
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