Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
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