I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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