You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
I'm going to jail i love you
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize
