I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
I'm passing your future prison.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
Randomize
