i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
Top reasons to NOT leave jessica to her own devices : 1. Drinking becomes a competitive sport ( in which she is the only one competing) 2.big girl words= no worky 3. Whiskey refuses to be a good friend (as much as she insists ). 4. Waking up at six a.m. still in her swim suit is super awkward. 5. It isn't a fun game to figure out which person she gave her number to and 6. Yesterdays eyeliner doesn't look good today.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
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