you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
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