from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Randomize
