I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
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