well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
