We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
The air taste purple.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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