I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
Randomize
