We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
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