I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Randomize
