I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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