I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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