Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
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