The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
okay pat passed out under dana's car
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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