When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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