operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
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