Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
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