i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
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