Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Randomize
