So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
