none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
