He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
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