Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
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